Friday, November 2, 2012

So what's with the blog name?

Last late fall, my husband and I had the luxury of going to Chicago childless to celebrate his 40th birthday. As we were walking down Michigan Ave., we were pulled into the American Doll Store. Yes, two adults without thier daughter, very much enjoying browsing the American Doll Store. And then I stumbled upon the Bitty Babies, and within a moment, I made the firm decision that Emmeline would be the proud new mother of one upon reaching her 3rd birthday.

And then I got pregnant.

I was late, tired, nauseous and bitchy. DH took Emmeline and our dog Kharma for a late evening walk. I laid in bed seething and sick for no "obvious" reason. As they walked in the door, I walked out...headed to Walgreens for a pee stick.

And there it was. The + sign came up immediately. DH asked if I was reading it correctly. I have probably read 50 of these sticks. You tell me the pee stick brand, I will tell you what a positive test looks like. Yes, I was reading it right. + means POSITIVE.

What? WHAT????WHAT????

We had truly reach a place of contentment and got very comfortable with the idea of being a one-child family. Emmeline is an IVF babe after 4 years of trying. What were the chances, right? I'll write about this in another post, but because I felt quite confident that Emmeline would be it, I feel like I very consciously gave her ALL of my mothering energy. I feel like there is nothing left for another child.

Well, the time has come to dig deep.

We had an ultrasound at 6w2d (pic to come). Measuring great, good heartbeat. And so, as we walked out of the ultrasound, I began my journey of acceptance. Emmeline will have a sibling. Women do this all the time. Things will work out. We started to watch videos of Emmeline when she was a baby and look at her baby books. Yes, there are so many fond memories.

Fast forward to ultrasound #2...10w4d (pic also to come).

I would say that acceptance was achieved before this ultrasound started. In fact, if we saw a strong heartbeat and good growth at this ultrasound, I was prepared to allow myself some excitement...almost out of the first trimester.

And what would happen next will always be imprinted on my mind...one of those outlier moments when you remember every detail...the sights, the sound, the words, the feelings.

"You say they saw one baby at your 1st ultrasound? I see two.".

I SEE TWO.

I believe I screamed "Noooooooooo!". The ob left to go get another doc - because of the obvious magnitude of the news, she didn't want to be wrong. About 20 hours, I mean minutes, later, another doc came in, performed a transvaginal ultrasound, and there THEY were. TWO STRONG BABIES. TWO STRONG HEARTS.

So, back to the Baby Bitty Twins title...we haven't told Emmeline the news. Perhaps this weekend. And she will now be receiving Bitty TWINS for her 3-year birthday. Wow, is she ever going to be a fantastic big sister.

Next appointment is right at 12 weeks. We are going to find out their genders. And it will be in time to order Emmeline her own gender-appropriate bitty twins. :-)

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